The Men's Deliverance Centre

I passed by the Men’s Deliverance Centre today. The banner read ‘for infertile men, male victims of domestic abuse, jobless men, unaccepted men, disrespected fathers and broke men’.

Papa Lovinia, my neighbour called me from behind as I was making my way home and said, ‘Ei, Amenda na ɛte sɛn?’

I responded, saying I was doing just fine. I asked him if he had ever patronized the services of the deliverance centre. He answered in the negative. He said he did not understand why the manager of the deliverance centre was a lady; a spinster to be precise. He mentioned that the lady had not finished solving all of her problems, so he saw no reason why he was to see her for his needs. I reminded him of the fact that being a pastor did not automatically take the desires of the flesh away. They had to be subdued with prayer and conscious effort.

That, he said was none of his business. The rumours around town were that Mama Lovinia had made it known to all who cared to know that Papa Lovinia was responsible for their childlessness. He had refused to get himself a job, thus leaving Mama Lovinia to cover all the expenses. What’s worse, he wanted to be addressed as the lord of the house, while he did nothing to show for it. If there was anything he was good at, she said, it was to openly respond to greetings and parade himself around Fameye as Mama Lovinia’s dream come true. Indeed, he was Mama Lovinia’s dream come true. We all as witnesses saw the look on her face, with her eyes reflecting all the joy in her heart as she won the heart of Mr. Senanu, popularly known as Papa Lovinia. In Papa Lovinia’s own words, he put himself up for a bet and Lovinia won.

Being the practice of the people of Fameye to address a couple by the female’s first name, only differentiating the sexes with Mama and Papa, it came as no surprise that Mr. Senanu quickly got used to being called Papa Lovinia.

Odee, my frenemy joined in the conversation. His sharp words cutting in like venom. He loudly said the angles of the woman’s face made no harmony; that she was not a sight to behold. Not being able to secure for herself a man, all she could do was to set up a deliverance centre right opposite his home to insult the integrity and ego of men. To him, it came as no surprise that no man had ever stepped foot in that deliverance centre. What I did not tell him was that Sister Abena many a time came to me for ideas as to how to get Odee to the centre without any qualms. I pretended to have no ideas, notwithstanding the fact that I had many in mind. Finsing a solution to her problem, she discussed with me her plans of taking him there on one of the days he would sleep so deeply in the afternoon to have him delivered of all the problems stated on the Deliverance centre’s banner. She said sometimes she wondered if Odee was the inspiration for the setting up of the Men’s Delivernace centre.

At this point, being called Amenda upset me no more because I had heard it too many times to be upset. ‘Amenda, Amenda, yɛ ntɛm bra’ were Sister Abena’s words. She had finally got Odee where she wanted him; on their creaky bed with only his boxer shorts and his legs wide open. I had to help Sister Abena carry him to the Deliverance centre. She told me it was a ‘now or never’ affair, so the earlier I brought my weight lifting game on, the better. We carried Odee in broad daylight to the deliverance centre. My grandmother sitting right in front of her shop wondered what was going on, but she had an inner satisfaction knowing I would not leave a word out of the story.

On our arrival, Maame Tongasorefo screamed and began to jump around, with her white apparel whirling like a Dervish. Odee began to shout for help, for a rescuer. As we all stared at him four pews away, he began to confess his colorist inclinations and how he never really liked his wife. To love her was definitely out of the picture; it was not a choice he was willing to make. His one and only true love, Monica, his yellowsisi who inspired him to be a better man was married off to some rich man in his asence. His heart had been forever broken since then. He never really liked dark girls, but decided to make do with Sister Abena because his parents would not have it any other way. He never thought Abena’s dad would disown her for deciding to marry a man who did not belong to her class at the time.

Sister Abena, with tears in her eyes looked at me and asked where lay the shame in not getting married?

By Amanda Alokpa